Minimizing the Isolation of Leadership

I woke up in a panic, sweating. 

I dreamed about an employee I  laid off last year.  It was her wedding anniversary and her husband was taking her out to a fancy restaurant.  She was dressed beautifully and looked happier and more radiant than I had ever seen her.  Another worker came over and scolded me, saying that I had better tell her she was being laid off before she spent all that money on dinner.  My response was that I couldn’t tell her about the layoff now…I had to wait until the appointed time… and besides, I didn’t want to ruin her night with her husband.  In the dream she overheard me, and looked me directly in the eyes.  “Ruin my night?  With what?” she asked.  That’s when I woke up, thank goodness.

Leadership can be isolating.  You think differently than others, and over time it becomes hard to relate to some people.  You have to keep your company’s confidences.  You make unpopular decisions.  And as you continue to grow as a leader, the gap between you, your friends, and your family can widen too.  The saying “It’s lonely at the top” certainly seems true.  But can we do anything to minimize that isolation? 

• Remember why you became a leader in the first place.   Is it because you love helping people develop?  Do you relish a good challenge?  Do you have a vision that you feel compelled to share, or perhaps you have a need to serve others?  Whatever your reasons might be, they can help steady you on those days when you feel off-balance.
• Network with other leaders.  Find others, either within your company or outside of it, that you can get together with on a regular basis to discuss the different aspects of leadership.  I’m fortunate to have a boss who assembles his managers weekly to discuss leadership.  The conversation is helpful and it feels good knowing you aren’t alone out there.
• Find a leadership mentor.  Most people in leadership positions would be honored to have you ask.  Their experience can be invaluable as you struggle with issues they’ve already experienced.
• Eat some “Attitude Food.”  You are pummelled with negativity every single day.  Make it a personal crusade to keep the negativity out.  I’ve found the best way to do that is to feed my brain inspirational books or CD’s every single day.  Even something as breif as a quote by a famous leader can start your day off right.
• Exercise.  I truly believe that regular exercise fixes just about everything.  In my case, the feeling of well-being that comes over me after I exercise takes away that nagging feeling of isolation and replaces it with satisfaction.  Keeping to a regular exercise schedule also improves my self-confidence. 

Try these tips and notice how much lighter your burdens are.  You will be pleased to discover that it isn’t because you are carrying fewer of them- it’s because you’ve strengthened your back.