10.  Buy a travel set of toiletries.  You don’t want to waste time tracking them down every time you leave the house.

9.  Just because the lights in your own car turn off automatically when you take the keys out doesn’t mean that they do the same thing in your rental car.

8.  You’d be amazed at the amount of jewelery that doesn’t set off the metal detectors in the airport.  And at the amount of liquids that you can smuggle past security in your purse.  This last statement does not apply to half-drank bottles of Diet Coke, however…they’ll call you on those.

7.  Always build in more time to your travel than you’ll need.  Sure, it’s wasted 99% of the time, but you’ll be awfully glad you did when you hit that 1%.

6.  Never completely unpack your suitcase once you arrive home.  It just gives you the opportunity to forget things.

5.  Airport gift shops are a great place to pick up unique birthday and Christmas gifts for your friends and family.  It helps kill time, and it saves you the trouble of scrambling around for these items on your precious days off.

4.  Watching takeoffs, landings, and cloud formations from the window seat of a plane never gets old.

3.  Eating out in restaurants does.

2.  Our bodies all respond differently to the stresses of air travel.  Mine requires lots of water, eye drops, and ibuprofin.  And chocolate.

And my personal favorite lesson learned:

1.  There’s no place like home.

Not the best day at the office

Being an effective leader isn’t easy.  When you look at the top of your organization you’ll most likely see a blend of strong and weak leaders.  What makes the strong ones strong and the weak ones weak?  How can you avoid being one of the weak ones as you make your way up your organizational chart?  Understanding-and staying away from- these six trouble spots will greatly increase your chances of becoming one of the good ones.

1. You don’t lead yourself well enough.  This one really comes down to your character.  Are you honest?  Trustworthy?  Do you follow through on your commitments?  How’s your work ethic?  Can you be relied on in emergencies?  Face it- if you can’t lead yourself well, you can be sure that nobody is going to follow you.
2. You don’t care enough about the people you are trying to lead.  People will not follow you until they believe that you have their best interests at heart.  This is something you can’t accomplish with a mere title; this is a bond that must be built over time.  Do you really know your people?  You have to show an interest in their personal lives and know what their career aspirations are. You have to be able to see things through their eyes.  Make an effort to connect with them regularly.  Respect them and encourage them.  Only then will they allow you to lead them.
3. You are in the wrong department or company.  Many of us have ended up in careers that we did not ever plan for; they are just comfortable.  This is fine if you are a follower.  If you aspire to become a leader in your organization, however, your job has to be a good fit for you. You must be energetic and enthusiastic at work, which are very hard to do when roles don’t fit you properly.  Do you volunteer to come in early, stay late, and work on those special projects? Is your passion coupled up with expertise in your field?  If you don’t have them, consider finding a role, company, or industry that better suits you.
4. You are not a strong communicator.  Leading is often about communicating your vision to others.  This takes many forms; training, meetings, emails, and one-on-one conversations.  Master all of them.  Read up on email etiquette.  Join a local chapter of Toastmasters to become better at public speaking.  Read the book “On Writing Well” by Zisner.  Whether you become a leader or not, improved communication skills will have a positive impact on your career.
5. You don’t have the drive.  This is the most important aspect of success to me.  It takes plenty of drive to rise through the ranks of a company.  If I had to give up all but one of my professional attributes, this is the one I would keep.  If you don’t have the drive, go back to #3 and take a hard look at yourself. Drive is a large part of what makes you promotable.  One of the employees in my office recently applied for a job opening that was two steps above his current one.  He knew he didn’t have the experience for it, but he spent an hour interviewing with one of our company’s regional managers- and when a different opportunity (a much better one!) needed to be filled by that regional manager, he immediately thought of the man he had interviewed.  Drive gets you moving- and if you don’t have it, you’re stuck in park.
6. You are not willing to make the necessary sacrifices.  I have always believed that a company’s #1 leader is also its #1 servant.  You put the employees and the company’s needs before your own.  There are late nights, travel, and missed ball games with your children.  It’s all part of the price of leadership.  These aren’t the only sacrifices; you also have to spend a good portion of your personal time developing your craft.  This could mean studying up on your industry, or brushing up on your communication skills.  And it always means pitching in to do whatever is necessary to make the company succeed.

Look within yourself.  How do you measure up in these areas?  It is hard to determine how you fare on the first two- you might want to ask a colleague’s opinion on those.  Get to work on the areas where you hare holding yourself back, and start your leadership journey.

Did I learn anything new?  Absolutely.  A good portion of this book deals with sales people’s “ploys” and the “tactics” buyers should use to thwart those ploys.  I had no idea salespeople were viewed so negatively by buyers; these descriptions were definitely unflattering.  However, selling IS strategic, and I appreciated the fact that the author mentioned which ploys were hardest to overcome.  And now I better understand that the indecisive buyer who is dragging their feet might in fact be a cunning negotiator.  It’s interesting stuff.

Was it interesting and entertaining?  It was interesting, but it was not “entertaining” to read how negatively my profession is viewed.

Could I relate to the author?  Not really, but I do know others like him.  He’s a salesperson-hater. 

Was the format/ writing style easy to understand?  Yes…especially the section on “ploys” and “tactics.”  There were some good real-world stories in there too.

Did I finish the book?  Why or why not?  I only read past the halfway point.  That is because the end was specifically on writing and then negotiating the formal contract themselves, and that is not particularly helpful in my business.

Was it worth the time I invested to read it?  Yes.  But I wouldn’t invest the time to finish it.  I have too many other unfinished books on my shelves for that. 

Business Mom’s Book Ranking:  3  I learned a thing or two, but I’d only recommend it to you if you have a strong interest in this particular subject.

Sometimes Life goes along smoothly, and we are able to happily make progress towards our goals.  And sometimes it doesn’t.   Those bumps in the road slow us down.  And sometimes we slow down to the point where we don’t even know if it is worth the effort to get going again.  “Sure,” you say.  “Maybe Mother Teresa kept going, but I’m certainly no Mother Teresa.”  So I’ll give you a much more down-to-earth example: myself.

I’m committed to spending two hours a day working towards my personal goals.  When things are going well, I hit that goal with no problem.  But this summer it’s been one bump after another.  My mother-in-law with dementia has been living with us for eight weeks.  Bump.  Our house had a bat infestation and a bird mite infestation. Bump bump.  My career has been on hold for six weeks as I wait for information about a promotion I am supposed to be receiving.  Bump.  The basement flooded, my administrative employee quit, and the list goes on and on.  Bump, bump, bump.  I can tell you that these bumps have absolutely slowed me down.  So how do we keep making progress when things get bumpy?

• Adjust your expectations.  When you hit those bumpy patches in Life, give yourself permission to slow down. 
• Plan to accomplish goals weekly or monthly, instead of daily.  This gives you breathing room on those really tough days.
• Celebrate all of your progress.  If you are able to hit a milestone during a bumpy patch, take the time to pat yourself on the back.
• Remember that you are writing your life story.  The hero of a good book always has obstacles to overcome. When you look back over those tough periods, you’ll be so pleased with yourself that you kept going.  And you’ll realize that you cherish those itty bitty steps you took during the hard times more than the giant strides you took during the good times.

Keep going, despite the bumps.  Sure- the average person would stop.  But you aren’t average, are you?

Yes. I recommend “Doing Nothing.”

Christopher Robin explains how to Do Nothing in The World of Pooh by A.A. Milne. He is having a conversation with Winnie the Pooh about favorite things. When Pooh asks Christopher Robin what he likes to do best, he answers, “What I like doing best is Nothing.” “How do you do Nothing?” asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time. “Well, it’s when people call out at you just as you’re going off to do it, ‘what are you going to do, Christopher Robin’, and you say, ‘Oh, Nothing.’ And then you go and do it.” “Oh, I see” said Pooh. (I don’t think he did see, really.) Christopher Robin then clarified it a bit. “It means just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”
If that explanation doesn’t help you, here are a few of my favorite ways of Doing Nothing:

* Throw rocks into the puddle in my driveway with my youngest daughter
* Crawl back into bed mid-morning on a Saturday for no reason other than it is warm and cozy
* Sit on a chair in the back yard while the kids play on the swings and let the sun warm my face
* Perch on the edge of a bed to watch one of my children sleep
* Wander around the yard and down my street after everyone goes to bed, watching the clouds race in front of the moon.

In other words, Doing Nothing.

Any of these activities put the breaks on the holiday roller coaster. They give you a chance to catch your breath, wipe your eyes, and fix your hair before the wild ride of Life continues.

 Once that door is shut, I can look forward to the journey. Sure, I’ll miss my daughter and the rest of my family like crazy. But the occasional business trip is good for the working mom. There are elegant meals that we don’t have to cook, pay for, or clean up after. There are king-sized beds with mountains of pillows that we can hog all to ourselves. And there are no small children or pets to disturb our slumber. Ahh- can’t you taste the hotel room coffee already? But before I can enjoy any of this, I have to fly to Phoenix.
     I never take the magic of flight for granted. You’ll always find me in the window seat with the shade open. Most of the people on board look like they are traveling on business. You could say that I do too, but I’m really still Mom, watching the unfolding scenery through the eyes of my children.   As the plane takes off, I am treated to a view of the fall foliage from the air. I’ve never flown in the fall before, and the colors and patterns are gorgeous. The trees are soon obstructed by thin, wispy clouds. “Cirrus clouds!” my son Cole would shout. He likes everything about weather, and I know he would love this view. The plane reaches its cruising altitude of 36,000 feet, where the clouds look like fluffy mountains. If Cole were with me, he’d be pointing at them saying, “Cumulonimbus! Wow!”
     The flight attendants serve breakfast. I save the tiny box of raisins for my daughter Sarah and the muffin for Shelby. I eat the Honey Chex cereal out of its little disposable bowl and think again of Cole. He would love this flavor. I’ll have to buy it for him when I get home.
     Outside, the clouds are now smooth and flat. They seem more like ground covered with snow than floating water vapor. A rainbow appears, looking as though it was spray painted on the clouds. The illusion continues as the plane heads west. I watch for a long time before I realize that I have absent-mindedly eaten all of the raisins. Oh well; Sarah has raisins at home. I eat the muffin too.
     I doze off with my head leaning against the window. Not for long, unfortunately – we hit turbulence. The infant a few seats away fusses, which makes me miss the kids again. I can see the reason for the bumping; we are flying over a mountain range. I decide that I would explain turbulence to the kids as being when the wind bounces off the mountains and into our plane. I have no idea if I’m right or not.
     The decent into Phoenix starts. The desert is broken up only by small lakes. They all have funny shapes; one looks like a lizard and another looks like a shark. Shelby, Cole and Sarah would have so much fun naming their shapes, like they do with clouds. The ground gets closer and soon I am watching cars travel on roads. I see a baseball field. A cactus. The wheels grab the tarmac and I imagine my children shouting “Hurray! We made it!”
     Now it is time to turn on the cell phone, grab the laptop, and put my family out of my mind for the next few hours. After all, I’m a grown-up on an important business trip. But before I do, I recall something I said to Shelby before I left.

     For all of us in leadership roles, it is critical that we carve time out of our days for thinking.  It affects our creativity, our ability to strategize, and it improves our overall performance in all aspects of our lives.  Dr. John Maxwell, famous author and expert on leadership, recommends that we spend 20% of our time engaged in deep thinking. 

   It isn’t that easy, though.  Both Life and technology do a pretty good job of distracting us from taking the time that we should.  The list of distrations is endless, but here are some of the worst offenders:

1. EMAIL.  Most of us are too tempted by the unopened letter icon on our computers to focus on our current tasks; we pull away our focus which causes even the simplest tasks to take longer.
2. KIDS.   Don’t get me wrong- I love spending time with my children- but between softball practice, breaking up fights, and picking Moon Sand out of the carpet, it’s pretty hard to have any quality thinking time when they are awake.
3. TELEVISION.  Sure, there is some great quality programming out there.  But most television just eats away at your time and at your life.  According to the latest Nielson rating, the average American watches 4.5 hours of television a day.  That’s a full two months of your life GONE every year.
4. COMPUTER/ VIDEO GAMES.  How many times have you intended to play for “just a few minutes” and looked up at a clock to see that an hour or more of time had elapsed?

Sure, there’s lots of distractions.  How do we put the thinking time back into our days?  Here are some suggestions:

1. PLAN YOUR DAYS AROUND THINKING TIME.  Put it on your calendar daily and build the rest of your schedule around it.  It can be your most productive, effective time; be protective of it.
2. GET UP EARLY.  Family life is distracting and most houses are quiet in the wee hours of the morning.  All the really successful people I’ve questioned are all early risers.
3. HAVE A SPOT DEDICATED TO THINKING.  It could be anywhere; a chair, a desk, or perhaps a special room that you go to when you are thinking.  If at all possible use that spot just for thinking.  Once you use it regularly your brain will immediately click into thinking mode as soon as you sit down. 
4. EXERCISE.  It brings more oxygen to the brain.  It also slows down your mental activity to a point where you can listen better to what your brain has to say.  I’m a jogger, and I’m absolutely amazed at the wonderful, deep thoughts that come to me when I’m out on the road.  When you exercise, try leaving the tv and the ipod off.  Let everything be quiet so that inspiration can come to you.
5. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR COMMUTE.  If you can keep the radio and the cell phone off, you’ll give your brain another opportunity to talk to you.  And if you keep a digital voice recorder in your car you can easily record your thoughts without driving off the road. 

When you make room in your life for thinking on a regular basis, it means that you’ll have to take that time from somewhere else.  We all only have 24 hours in a day.  Hopefully you can find room by cutting out some of the time-wasters above.  If not, I’d suggest that cleaning the house is a good place to start…after all, that Moon Sand will still be there waiting for you after you’ve had your thinking time, won’t it?